I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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