We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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