your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
bring money and cleavage
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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