she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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