how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
