Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
