im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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