I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
