A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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