Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
