it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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