I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
