New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
