I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
