I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
