Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
