Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
