Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
