hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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