remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
