So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
