I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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