this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
