i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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