Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
