I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize