does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
