Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
