He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
