I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
