the new term for farting is butt boxing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
