you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm like, not good at living.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
