Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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