i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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