is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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