just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
