You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
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