idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
