moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i believe in u and ur pee
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
