Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
try to milk me bitch
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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