i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
