this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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