so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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