Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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