Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
