i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
