Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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