What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
