is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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