yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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