OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
