Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize