whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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