Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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