I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
