so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
