NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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