YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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