uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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