I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
