I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize