Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
