I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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