i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
